Pheonix
by DaGreyHero
Summary: This is a parody of the infamous My Immortal. I do not own Harry Potter or My Immortal (thank every god in the universe) Follow Zephyr and her brothers as they battle bad grammar, a plotless story, Ebony what's-her-face, and every renamed "goffic" character that has sprung from that hell!


"Zephyr! Let's go, Boreas is driving today!" my youngest brother calls from downstairs.  
"Coming!" I yell back. I slide down the rail to the door.  
"Later Ma!" I yell and slam the door behind me. I run out to my oldest brother's ice blue car. I open the door and jump in the front seat.  
"Drive Boreas Drive!" I point in the direction of the uni.  
"West calm down, were you up all night reading again?" he rolls his eyes.  
"Yeah, I found this gods awful fanfiction called 'My Immortal'. I played the drinking game version of it. Oh yeah, we're out of juice…..and soda…as well as water." I say as my sugar rush comes down. I usually don't get a sugar high, but when I do I'm crazy as fuck….. I also begin to swear. Boreas speeds out of the neighborhood and drives to the direction of the school.  
"So you didn't touch the stash?" Notus asks from the back seat. Stupid Notus and his secret alcohol stash, wish I found it. Then again I would have been found dead not even halfway through the game.  
"No, I read it once then did some more research. That's where I found the My Immortal Drinking Game on TVTropes. I did learn a few things though. One, there are horrible writers and human beings that should be set on fire and nuked. Two, I have become a better troll. Three there is such a thing called water poisoning."  
"So that's how we're supposed to tell mom why there isn't anything to drink?"  
"Let's just say I peed, puked, peed again, nearly threw myself out of the window, puked again, took one last piss and proceeded to laugh my ass off. All in the span of 2 hours." I say staring out the window.  
"Hot damn, good thing you didn't touch the alcohol then that would have been a waste of some good booze." Notus laughs.  
"Didn't you say you got rid of the stash?" Eurus glares at Notus.  
"Heh, funny story about that bro. You see- HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT?" he points in front of us. A rainbow portal opens up and there is no time for Boreas to change course. Screaming we plunge into the spectral gateway.

"Is it over?" Eurus asks while suffocating me with a hug. I open my eyes to see that we're in a tree, a very big and twisty one at that.  
"Yeah, we're in some stupid tree." Notus groans. The tree begins to move and a branch picks him up.  
"Oi! I'm sorry! I swear you're not a stupid tree, you're a very smart tree!" he screams. The tree decides to put him down along with the car. The rest of us stumble out and fall to the ground.

"Damn where are we?" Boreas asks to no one in particular. I get up shakily and look around.  
"Is this Hogwarts?" my eyes widen.  
"It is!" Eurus smiles. After dusting ourselves off we decide to walk to the front. A group of gothic and angsty teenagers walk by. A raven haired girl is called over and looks at us. She flips us off and my brothers and I have to hold Eurus back.  
"How dare she! This is Hogwarts for crying out loud! You can't be flipped off, you never see students give such a vulgar gesture!" he cries and tries to break free. The girl and her gothic group stroll up to us.

"We haven't seen you around, who are you?" the dark haired girl asks. We look at Boreas expectantly and he sighs. He walks up to and towers over the hourglass figured teen. He clears his throat before he switches from Greek to English.

"We're the Karpusi siblings, pleased to meet you. My name is Boreas; those are my brothers Notus and Eurus. The girl is our sister Zephyr." He points to us as we wave in the order he mentions us. The group turns to talk amongst themselves and we hear hushed whispers of how hot the Greek exchange students are. The black haired teen turns back to us and smiles with perfect black teeth.  
"My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, I'm in Slytherin. These are my friends, have you figured out where you will be?" she bats her overly done eyelashes.  
"We are not sure yet, but we will figure out, goodbye." He nods. He comes to where we are and we walk away from the emo teens.

"Brother, are we going to attend here?" Eurus asks with wide eyes. To him it would be a dream come true if he could. He is one of the biggest Harry Potter geeks I know. It's really what inspired him to learn English, better than the rest of us actually.  
"As far as I can tell, yes. We will have to figure out how to get home sooner or later. If this place exists then we had to have come here by magic." A comfortable silence passes.  
"What was that chick's name again?" Notus asks stopping in his tracks. I keep walking but the others stop.  
"I believe it was Ebony something Way." I freeze in my tracks.  
"Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way." I whisper.  
"Yeah that's it! She looked strange, hot bod, but all those cuts and emo clothes just made her look like a slut." Notus shrugs.  
"Hey, West you ok?" Eurus asks. I drop to my knees.  
"Impossible. HOLY FUCK WE'RE IN MY IMMORTAL!1" I scream like a banshee.

A/N: Yo, well recently I read _My Immortal_ and raged for an entire lunch period. Strange enough I like it, I like flaming and laughing at it that is. God damn it was horrible and made me cry for the following generation, but it was hilarious. As soon as I get friends and enough liquids, I'm doing the drinking game. If you thought I was joking about it in the story then brace yourselves, it's real. Search it, I dare you. Also note that if you flame this story, I laugh my ass off and flame with you. I admit it I like to troll; I'll troll myself if I get bored enough. If you don't know what's going on then get da hell out of here! Don't though I like having readers. If you don't know what's going on though, feel free to search the site and you're bound to find someone who uploaded it. Be warned: may induce extreme laughter, tears, puking, and possible suicide from the awful spelling/grammar/references/costume porn/etc. this thing is horrible, but you love to hate it.


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